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  • Writer's pictureJessica

Wanting all the 'right' answers


Do you ever find yourself seeking guidance or advice for the answers that are 'right'? If this is you, how is it working for you? If it's supporting you well, it might not be something to consider adjusting. If it causes you stress, anxiety, guilt or action paralysis, it could be helpful to start exercising your 'grey area' muscles.


There is a popular, research-based therapy modality called CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) which includes the idea that we can have Cognitive Distortions defined as, "irrational thoughts that can influence your emotions. Everyone experiences cognitive distortions to some degree, but in their more extreme forms they can be harmful."


'Should' Statements and All or Nothing Thinking are the Cognitive Distortions that fit here.


Becoming aware of your common thought patterns is the first step to change. Once you are, you can practice developing some less rigid thoughts, for example instead of: "I have no idea what the right thing to do about this is," consider, "I have several good options here, I could try one and see what happens and change course, or try some adjustments if it doesn't seem like it's working."


I am learning and practicing more gray area thinking. I'm practicing considering and living in, maybe there isn't just one right way to act or think in a situation.


If this is also you, what is one should statement or all or nothing thought that you could adjust to be more flexible?


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